As October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, my school held a fundraiser. The students baked pink cupcakes, and brought them to school to sell. I made the most divine red velvet cupcakes with pink butter icing. Here is where I got the recipe from if you want to give them a go. I didn't use their icing recipe, I just made my own (#rebel). I highly recommend this recipe. I ended up with a batch of perfectly moist, decadent red velvet cupcakes, and I can't wait to bake them again!

You've probably read the title of this post, and are a bit perplexed. What I'm about to share with you is something very personal that I've been struggling with for a while. I've decided to share it with you because if you suffer from panic attacks, you should know that you are not alone. Even if you don't have anxiety issues, then hopefully this will help you to understand what causes panic attacks, and how to help someone suffering from one.

Panic Attacks?

Panic attacks are a type of anxiety disorder. They can only be described as an intense surge of overwhelming fear and anxiety, with the anticipation that bad things are going to happen to you. They usually last between five and 20 minutes, although someone suffering from panic attacks over the years may have a build up of panic attacks after the other. They  may be recurring, especially if the situation has stimulated a previous panic attack.


Symptoms of a panic attack are abrupt, and reach the highest point within 10 minutes. There are various psychological symptoms coupled with physical symptoms, such as:

• Irregular heart beat, also referred to as palpitations
• Sweating
• Trembling or shaking
• Shortness of breath
• Feeling dizzy, light headed or faint
• Uncontrollable crying
• Feeling unreal or detached from your surroundings
• A choking sensation (being restricted of breath)
• Chest pains
• Nausea or upset stomach

I will take time to acknowledge that I was a very stressed child in primary school. Ever since I started high school, however, I have felt my anxiety getting worse. This, in my opinion, was the worst time for my anxiety to start getting worse, however I can see how the pressure to perform well, and the stress of becoming a teenager has worked like the bricks building on my leaning tower of sanity. This makes school work and the pressure to do well a major contributor to my panic attacks, and the workload for Grade 10 is not exactly minimal. I would describe my panic attacks as a build up of a number of stressful factors that I can't keep inside of me anymore, until they are released in a tsunami-like torrent of emotions. The fear and stress becomes too overwhelming for me to handle, and I suddenly feel so distant from everyone around me as I realise I must be the only person feeling this way. This makes me even more scared until I can no longer bear it, and just want to curl into a ball like a child, or run until I reach Egypt. When I am having a panic attack, I always imagine the cupboard under the stairs from Harry Potter, because that's where I would like to go to be alone where I can calm down in my own time, away from everything that stresses me. 

Today I had a very scary panic attack. I was sitting in class, and I could not stop thinking about how much work I had to revise for the end of year exams. Even though I've been doing regular revision and my homework throughout the year, I felt like no matter how much I'd done, I would not finish in time. I began to feel what I can only describe as a block of ice persistently pushing, harder and harder, against my chest. I felt like I couldn't breathe, and I knew if I looked at anyone in the eyes, I would melt into a puddle of tears. I started shaking, and my breathing became short and rapid. I knew I couldn't handle walking around school and sitting in lessons for the rest of the day pretending that everything was fine and dandy, when all I wanted to do was cry. I felt like I had a thousand eyes watching me, judging me, waiting for me to cry. I felt the overwhelming sensation that the whole world was against me, that no one understood me, and that no one would help me. The worst part of these panic attacks, is that it's all a psychological thing. It's easy to tell me to calm down and that everything will be fine, but I can't hear you when my brain keeps telling me that I'm not going to be fine. I actually sat and wrapped my arms around myself in an attempt to hold myself together. I know I'm probably painting a very grim, sombre picture of myself, but you must understand it was an act of complete and utter despair. I started to cry, and once I started I couldn't stop. Everything that was making me stress, everything that was pushing down on me, all came rushing out in a furious torrent of tears. All the while I was shaking, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I went home early after my friends noticed that I was not okay. After my panic attack, I felt like a wrung out towel. I was completely dry, limp and exhausted from losing so much energy. 

How To Deal with Panic Attacks

Focusing on my breathing helps me a lot when it comes to calming myself down. Focus on breathing in through the nose, and out through the mouth. Try and stabilise your breathing.

Clear your head of all thoughts. Stare straight ahead, or focus on one thing in particular, and draw all your attention to it. Describe it to yourself. Try not to think about whatever it is that's making you panic.

Remind yourself that you are under no actual threat. You are simply in a state of a stress induced panic attack, and nothing bad is actually going to happen to you. The world will still keep spinning, and your life will continue to be bright and happy, if you let it. 

TELL SOMEONE HOW YOU ARE FEELING. Identifying why you are panicking is the first step towards happiness. Luckily for me, I have the best, most caring and compassionate friends, who can smell unhappiness from a mile away. They stayed with me every step of the way, and did not retreat, even when I tried to convince them, and partly myself, that I was fine. They made me verbalise exactly what I was feeling, and gave me their full attention. They made me realise that I was perfectly safe, and that I was only working myself up. They taught me that life always goes on, and that no matter what happens, or what state I'm in, I can always get out of it because I am in full control of what affects me, and how I deal with it. They helped me to calm down, control my breathing, and cheer me up. They did not judge me, call me silly for stressing, or make fun of my panic attack, and I could never ask for more than that. If you girls are reading this, just know that you mean everything to me, and thank you so much for helping me. It means more than you will ever know. I've never fully come to grips with dealing with my panic attacks, and I think today was the first step down the right path. Thank you for teaching me that, and for being the most wonderful friends in the whole world. <3

Hello everyone! I can't string enough words together to verbalise how excited I am that the weekend has finally come. The weather promises to be spectacularly sunny, so I can pull up a chair, grab some lemonade and... get cracking on my studying.

One question that I get asked a lot is "How are you always so happy?" I take this as a compliment. I consider myself an optimist, as I always try to make the best of a bad situation. I just don't see the point letting yourself down about something when you have the power to change it. The reason why I'm so happy all the time is simple: I try not to let the little negative things get me down. I surround myself with positive energy as much as possible, because pessimism and I are not good friends. I find that people feed off of energy, so being around happy, sprightly people always makes for a good time.

I have a positive outlook on life. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and my number one motto is "Que sera, sera" which means whatever will be, will be. I've learned to be thankful for all of the opportunities that I have been blessed with, and I congratulate others when they have good luck. Jealousy will only make you sullen, and will make you appear a bad friend.

Smiling also helps me to be more happy. There's rarely a moment in the day when I'm not smiling. Interestingly enough, a girl in a younger grade approached me and told me that she had never not seen me smiling, which made me smile even more. Smiling is infectious, and will make everyone else feel happy. So I guess that makes happiness infectious, and besides who doesn't wanna be happy? Wow, how many times can I say happy? Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy, okay I'll stop. Smiling is the easiest thing to do to perk yourself, and everyone around you, up.

I live life as I can, and do things that make me happy. I recently read a quote from Angelina Jolie that said "I don't believe in guilt; I believe in living on impulse as long as you never intentionally hurt another person. And don't judge people in your life. I think you should live completely free." This quote essentially summarises my views on 'guilty pleasures'. I don't believe they should be labelled as 'guilty pleasures', because the very word 'guilty' implies that it's something that should not be done, and we are to feel ashamed should we dare do it. The question I would like to pose is: Why should you feel guilty for enjoying something? If you are worried that people will ostracise you should they discover your guilty pleasure, then you need to rethink if these are people you want in your life. The word 'pleasure' implies that it's going to make you feel content and satisfied. Therefore, if whatever you do gives you a sense of content satisfaction, then you should by all means do it, as long as you do not harm or jeopardise anyone.

One last thing that I would like to bring to light, is that a lot of people assume that happy people are bereft of problems. This is not entirely true. Happiness is not the absence of problems, but rather being able to look at your problems in perspective, and approach and deal with them with the proper attitude.

I hope you all have an excellent weekend. I hope you smile a lot, and are a little bit spontaneous. See ya next Friday, sweeties!

XO

Greetings! Spring has certainly come along in full vigour, and I'm loving every minute of it. I hope you are lapping up the sun, and enjoying your Friday afternoon as I am.

We are fast approaching the end of the school holidays, and I can already feel myself curling into the fetal position at the thought of the end of year exams. Stress is something that I have not dealt well with in the past, and I'm proud to say I've been getting a better grip on it. So, I've decided to help some of my fellow befuddled teens with the issue of detoxing and dealing with stress.

1) Get organised

Organisation is something that I pride myself on. I can never work in a messy space. Clear out your pencil case, and make sure that you have pens that actually work. I find that setting my pens and writing pads out where I can see them motivates me to work even more. If you have a small desk like me, use boxes and pots to store your pens and other stationery, like sticky notes and staplers. It will open up more space for you to work. Tidy your working space, and make sure that this becomes the place for your regular revision. If you find working in your bedroom too distracting, try working at the kitchen or dining room table. Let everyone in your family know that they must be quiet around this place so as not to distract you. One thing that I am trying to stop doing is working or studying on my bed. Working at a desk at home will give you the subconscious impression of working at your school desk, and will actually mentally prepare you for the exam conditions.

Clear a shelf to store all of the books and files you bring home with you. Print out your exam schedule, and highlight the dates of your exams. Make sure your parents see this as well. If you're feeling super organised, why not compile a study timetable. I know that this method doesn't work for everybody, but it helps me clear my head, and I end up feeling more motivated and prepared to study.

2) Make time for sports and clubs

If you take part in sports and clubs regularly after school, by now your body will have become accustomed to that routine. Suddenly stopping this routine to give yourself more study time will only result in a shock to the system. Exercise is very healthy and beneficial for the body, and is an excellent de-stresser. It releases endorphins which make you happy, while at the same time allowing you to let off steam.

3) Let go of distractions

I'm sure we can all agree that this is one of the hardest parts of studying. Tumblr somehow becomes more enticing when I need to study. I try to convince myself that, even though I've only been studying for ten minutes, I'm in dire need of a break. I've taken control of this by deleting all social media apps off my phone. It feels weird for a little while, not being able to like or reblog anything, but at the same time it feels nice. I feel more in control and less stressed because I know that I don't have access to my distraction. Of course, you don't have to use this method. You can do something as easy as switching your phone off and locking it in a cupboard, or hiding the TV remote (just as long as your family can find it).

4) Listen to your body

Many of us feel that we can study for three hours straight without a break. You must realise that your body needs time to rejuvenate so that you can focus and study effectively. If you are tired, take a quick nap, and make sure that your bed time stays consistent. Studying late into the night will only result in more stress, and nobody likes walking into the exam room like a zombie. 

5) Stop if you feel overwhelmed

This is something that I have been getting better at. Being overwhelmed is often brought on by a terrible combination of exhaustion, anxiety and stress. You begin to feel that, no matter how much you've studied, you do not know the work. The best way to deal with this is to stop and put your pen down. Take a few deep breaths and clear your head completely. If you are still sitting down, stand up and take a walk somewhere. Take as much time as you need until you feel calm, and then come back and start your revision again. You will study more effectively with a clear head, and surprise yourself by how much you actually know and remember. 

I find that there is no reason to stress if you have sufficiently prepared. As long as you have done that, you've done yourself and your mental health a favour.

To the Matrics writing their final exams this term, good luck! I hope that this post helped get you in the right frame of mind for the term ahead. Enjoy the rest of the holidays lovelies, and let's take charge of the term!

"A man of calm is like a shady tree. People who need shelter come to it."

- Toba Beta

XO

Aloha dear reader! I hope your Friday is treating you sweetly. I've certainly been having a wonderful day, and I hope you are too. 

Towards this time of year, I like to think about traditions. I love traditions. They give me a sense of pride and belonging. I go to a school that's very big on traditions. Some people might see Founder's Day at schools as a grand spectacle in which the fine, young students and the school's spanking facilities are showcased. I see it as a day, one day out of the year, where everyone in the school can come together and celebrate the beauty of their humble little school, and embrace the sense of family and love. I can't tell you how much pride I feel when I slip on my school dress, and put on my blazer. I know that I represent a school that has taught me so many values, not only for school, but for many years to come. And to be able to celebrate the school that has given so much to me as a mere pupil is one of the greatest gifts I could ask for, or give in this sense.

Another wonderful tradition which I personally love, is getting a bunch of roses on my birthday. It's one thing that I've grown accustomed to, yet I still find myself being shocked when I come home one day to find a bunch of roses on the kitchen table. In my head, I can imagine my mum walking around the buckets of roses at the shops, carefully inspecting each bunch to find the perfect bouquet to prop up in the vase, and splendour in the dappled sunlight. Birthdays are simply wonderful, aren't they? Who doesn't love being showered in gifts, kisses and attention? I love hosting family gatherings, and birthdays are the perfect time to rally everyone together and have a slice of cake and a cup of tea. This year, however, we did things slightly differently. Instead of having the whole family together on my birthday, we drove to visit them. My gran joined us for my special birthday breakfast, which consisted of a heavenly hot chocolate and an egg and bacon croissant (exquis!). Later, we drove to my paternal grandparents house, where I was entertained by my little cousin, who had maybe had one too many slices of chocolate cake. Although this wasn't the traditional way of celebrating my birthday, I enjoyed it. I never thought change and tradition could be a good couple, but they proved to work well together this year.

My beautiful roses and birthday cake! Did I mention I baked it myself? <3

One might argue that it's too early to start thinking about Christmas, but there some traditions with it that I'd like to share with you. Going to the morning service at my church is one of my favourite traditions. Everyone is extra cheery, and there's a sense of peace and content as we approach the end of the year. My family likes to alternate between the midnight service and the service on Christmas morning. I quite like the midnight service. I like seeing the people spilling quietly out of their homes into the street, their figures illuminated by the streetlight, and bouncing off of the walls. Christmas morning brings out my inner child. I love digging into my stocking and finding scrumptious Cadbury's delights. And who can deny the wonderful thrill that unwrapping presents gives? 

Traditions remind us all of who we are, and where we come from. For me, it brings me pride, and reminds me that the team is greater than the individual. In this, I am reminded of the love my family has for me. Have a blessed week, and be mindful of those around you.

"Cultures grow on the vine of tradition."

- Jonah Goldberg

Okay, well this is slightly daunting. I'm not quite sure where to begin. 

First thing's first, hello Blogosphere. My name is Sarah-Kate and I am sixteen years old. I wanted to start this blog as I have a passion for writing and capturing beautiful moments in life. I'm just a teenage girl trying to navigate her way around this crazy world, and I'm hoping that this blog will help me harbour my memories, and maybe inspire a few people to enjoy the little things in life.

Thanks for coming on this journey with me as I try and figure out what's what on Blogspot. I'm sure I will be better with posts and aesthetics as time passes. 

One thing you should know about me: I'm big on quotes. So, I'm going to end every blog post with an inspirational quote, just a little something to keep in mind for the rest of the week. I will try and do posts every Friday. As this was my introductory post, I will do another post tomorrow.

"Be willing to be a beginner every single morning."

- Meister Ekhart