Here we are again, the final day of the year. Now is the time when my Twitter is filled with “2018 was the worst year ever” tweets, but then again people say that for every year that passes. Why are we more prone to reflecting on the downfalls of the year rather than counting our blessings and achievements? Surely one can’t say that every day of the year was a bad day? That is why I am spending today reflecting on each moment of the year with my journal on one side and a cup of tea on the other.

I found a list of 2018 Asks on Tumblr (Credits to goghflora) and am going to answer them as I journey back through the months of this turbulent and exciting year...

1. Favourite memory from 2018

Though it was an emotional memory as well, I would have to say the sense of euphoria that washed over me in February when my body began rejecting my eating disorder. Never had I ever felt more empowered by my biological instincts. I also felt a sense of safety and trust in my body that it would always take care of me. I began setting out a plan for the future of how I would turn to it more for how to live my life and listen to its wisdom.

2. Biggest achievement in 2018

Definitely landing the role of Romilly in Dear Romilly! It has been a dream of mine since childhood to be a movie actress and I finally fulfilled it in my first step towards possible fame. I doubted my pursuit of acting because of my low self-esteem and belief that I would be rejected at every corner, but portraying Romilly gave me a sense of confidence and self-assurance that I needed to boost me out of my doubts and trepidation. If you’d like to watch the movie, here is the link: Dear Romilly

3. Did 2018 live up to your expectations?

It is never possible to predict how a year is going to go, but I can say that 2018 threw whatever expectations I had out the window! My word for the year, which I choose at the beginning of each new year, was “cleanse” which I used as a guide for how I wanted to live my life in 2018. I thought that meant a year of detoxing, being on my own, not having much contact with anyone, and learning how to be silent. What it turned out to be was a year of purging negative and toxic energy, allowing new people to teach me valuable lessons, finding new ways to release the tensions and anxious situations and people I had been holding onto, and learning how to stand up for myself.

4. How was your love life in 2018?

On the 4th of May after a year of friendship, my best friend Norman became my boyfriend. It has been such a surreal rollercoaster ride of romance, adventure, tears, laughs, thrills, and learning.

5. How did you celebrate your birthday this year?

I celebrated my 20th birthday in the best way possible. Norman surprised me in the morning at my house with my present: My adorable hamster I named Louis! Afterwards he took me on a surprise adventure ending at a secret location: A spa! I cried and cried with love and shock when he revealed that we would both be treated to a spa afternoon. Never had I ever been so in awe of the effort, dedication, and attention to detail that had gone into the most perfect gift tailored for me. We both got massages and time in the sauna. It was an afternoon of bliss and serenity, one I have never been able to thank him enough for. In the evening I went out for supper with my friends who had all witnessed me at different stages in my growth: From preschool all the way to university. It was a day I will truly never forget as it reminded me how blessed and loved I am.

6. Did you go on holiday in 2018?

In November I went to Rooiels for a week with some of my best friends from university. Our days were spent on the beach, swimming, tanning, building puzzles, napping, laughing, cooking, playing games, and drinking. It was an unforgettable experience filled with new memories and fantastic people.

7. Biggest struggle of 2018

My biggest struggles were relapsing into anorexia twice: First in September, and then again in December. That really required a lot of strength from within to conquer twice over.

8. Favourite film you saw in 2018

The Nun- I absolutely adore horrors!

9. Favourite book you read in 2018

‘Big Little Lies’ by Lianne Moriarty 

10. Favourite show you watched in 2018

The Handmaid’s Tale!

11. Did you make any new friends this year?

Yes I did, as well as strengthen old friendships which I am thankful for.

12. Most important lesson you learned in 2018

That not everyone has the same heart or kind intentions that I do. Also that it is important to listen to your heart and say NO when something doesn’t feel right. 

13. What was your most embarrassing moment this year?

Nothing truly embarrassing happened to me, but I did get tonsillitis four times in one semester... 

14.  What news stories interested you this year?

The #ReclaimCliftonBeach movement in Cape Town.

15. Did you surprise yourself in 2018?

I surprised myself a lot this year. Standing up for myself and learning how to listen to my body presented results I never thought I’d learn in the space of a year.

16. Did you grow as a person in 2018?

I grew immensely as a person both mentally and physically. This year took me to places and taught me lessons that I will never forget nor take for granted. 

17. When did you laugh the hardest this year?

Anytime I was with Norman, to be honest.

18. When did you cry the hardest this year?

Anytime I was with Norman, to be honest.

19. Do you have any regrets about how you behaved in 2018?

Only that I trusted people that I shouldn’t have.

20. What’s your New Years resolution?

To be more forthright!

Forgive yourself for everything that happened this year where you felt disappointed, regretful, or anxious. Let go of your inhibitions and negative feelings about whatever downfalls you experienced. It’s time to allow the excitement and promises of the new year to wash over you and fill you with hope, life, and joy!

I’ll see you next year!

XO