Eighteen
This is it. Today's the day. My 18th birthday.
I can't believe I'm here. I never thought I would make it to see 18. It just didn't seem possible at the time. I never thought I'd see light, or anything pure and whole again. I never saw a future for myself, nor did I see anything good amounting from my life. I was miserable, a wreck, completely isolated, and perpetually depressed.
But here I am, living, in spite of it all. And I'm happy. I really am. I'm so happy I could burst into a thousand colours. I'm not afraid to say that I'm proud of myself. I've conquered my demons and fought all my monsters. I didn't emerge unscathed, but I'm certainly stronger and more powerful than ever before.
This is also a thank you to everyone who has helped me along the way, held my hand in the dark, and believed in me and loved me when I couldn't love myself. I have endless love in my heart for each and every kind soul, friend, teacher, mentor, and family member that held my broken pieces together until I was whole again. To those I hurt while I was hurting, I apologize profusely. I never meant to hurt you. The last thing I ever wanted during that period of complete desolation was to hurt the person leading me through the fog. I hope that you know now that I will stand by you and fight for you as you have done for me.
To the friends I've made along the way, thank you for accepting me. Thank you for all the lessons you've taught me, and for letting me grow again.
To my boyfriend, thank you. For everything. For letting me grow, and for showing me the way up. I love you.
I feel like a brand new person, but somehow, I'm still the old Sarah. I'm still inquisitive, crazy, and too bubbly for one room. But I'm wiser now. And one year older. And for that, I'll be forever proud and grateful.
XO
