Thursday 29 December 2016

Here Ends The Twelfth Lesson

Happy holidays, lovelies! Guess what? I am officially a matriculant!

My schooling career, which spanned from 19/01/2005 to 28/11/2016, has officially come to an end. In celebration, I am parting with you 12 years worth of lessons in 12 concise points. These are some of the most valuable lessons school has taught me which I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I hope that these will help you as you journey through school, and everything that may follow.

1. Trust yourself. 

Know who you are: Your goals, your limits, your values, and your morals, and stand up for what you believe in. If something feels wrong, then go with that instinct. Learn to say NO with conviction. And learn that it is okay to say NO and STOP if you are being threatened or endangered. 


2. Don't count your friends; make your friendships count. 

Not everyone will like you, and that's okay. That is a bitter pill to swallow, especially if you are like me and want the whole world on your side, but this is actually the best part of high school: You don't have to be friends with everyone! What a relief, right? Your friend group should consist of people who share values with you, while at the same time encourage you to reach outside of your comfort zone. They should inspire you to become the best you possible, and support you through everything. True friends can be difficult to find, so don't become disheartened if this takes time. You will find where you fit in. 

3. Make mistakes.

You will leave things to the last minute. You will write down the wrong answer to a question, and then remember the right answer after the test. You will forget your gym bag at home, lock yourself out of your locker, and saunter over-confidently into the wrong classroom. Don't be too hard on yourself about these. You are human, and will inevitably slip up sometimes. The important thing to do is to accept these mistakes, and use them to learn, grow, move on, and let go. 


4. Beware of the consequences of the choices you make. 

Your life is your responsibility. Your choices reflect how you will grow, and how you respect yourself and those around you. All of your choices determine the path your life will take, and what kind of person you will become. Live wisely and responsibly.

5. Compare yourself only to the person you were yesterday. 

I have to remind myself of this every day: Focus only on bettering yourself by setting small goals, and orienting yourself towards achieving those goals. Don't compare your goals with your friends or colleagues' goals. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, and performs at different levels in different areas. Not everyone can be good at everything, so you can't expect this from yourself.

6. Stay ahead of your syllabus. 

I promise you, this will help you immensely in Matric. Small things will ensure you will stay ahead, like reading five more pages of your setwork book, or summarising a chapter in your Biology textbook and filling in some vocabulary. Every little bit counts! Not only will you be ahead of your peers, you will also have an advantage in class tests and end of year exams, because you've studied the material on your own at leisure. By staying ahead, you can also ask your teacher for clarification and explanations on things you don't understand before anyone else has even picked them up.

7. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

I once read a quote that said, "Rather look stupid and ask than feel stupid when you don't." I was very shy starting school, so this is a lesson that was difficult for me to learn. If you are lost in the school quad, find someone to guide you. If you are staring at the equation-riddled board in Maths with no idea what's going on, ask for an after-school tutor session. If you feel anxious, sick, or lonely, talk to a school psychologist, a friend, or a nurse. Let someone know if something is wrong. Speak up if you are feeling scared, pressured, or vulnerable. Learn to protect yourself, and look after yourself.

8. Resist dangerous peer pressure.

I cannot emphasise this enough: If it feels wrong, don't do it. Trust your instincts. If your friends pressure you into doing something that contradicts your values, then they are not your real friends. If whatever you are being persuaded to do feels dangerous, wrong, morally incorrect, or clashes with what you stand for and believe in, resist the pressure to do it. Whatever you decide to make of a situation like that reveals a lot about you as a person. This ties in heavily to point number 4.

9. Channel positive vibes and laughter into your daily routine.

 Maintaining a joyful aura and being a positive influence may be the only thing getting you, and your friends, through school. Whether it's dancing like lunatics down the school corridors, spinning in your office chairs, talking in silly voices, splitting junk food, or singing songs from old movies, laughter and joy will only do you a world of good. It will also help you make friends as people will be drawn to your infectious smile and bubbly nature.

10. Stay involved

It is critical to forge connections in both school and work. The people I've met through job shadowing and charity work have taught me so much about life, and given me opportunities to expand my horizons, and share my talents and opinions with a wider audience. These are the people who have built the stage upon which I could discover myself, and become who I am today. Through being involved in events and organisations beyond the confinements of school, I have become a more mature, confident, open-minded person. That has become important in my writing, as well as the way I view my journey through life.

11. Avoid drama and negativity

Gossip in all forms is negative. Period. Stay away from gossip, negative vibes, and dangerous people. If you find this difficult, think of it as poison that you are putting into your body. Making something like gossip and negativity into a tangible object might help you to object to or abstain from it in the future. This links to point number 9.

12. Accept failure as part of the process

I understand that failure can be immensely embarrassing, but here is the rub: It does not matter how many times you've fallen down. What truly matters is how many times you've picked yourself up, dusted yourself off, and tried again. Failure is essential in the process of learning. He who has never failed has a lot to learn. Without failure, we would never learn where we went wrong. Use failure to your advantage, and let it be another brick in the wall of your future empire.

I hope you and your families had a magical Christmas, and earned some well-deserved rest over the festive season. Please stay safe as the celebrations continue into the new year.

Let's hope that 2017 will be kind to us all. Let it be another year for learning, growth, and love. If we all approach the new year with loving hearts and open minds, anything is possible. I believe in the promises of 2017, and our ability to work together towards a better future.

2016, it's been a crazy ride, but it's time to disembark. 


XO

Friday 9 December 2016

Open Letter To Humanity 2 | Trumped

I have very strong feelings surrounding the outcome of the American election. This letter is in response to the outcome, as well as other events that have occurred in the past year. I wrote it on 9 November 2016.

I have written a letter of this nature before: Open Letter To Humanity | Love Is Love. I dreaded the day I would have to write another one. Not because I do not enjoy writing, but because it saddens my heart that tragic events occurred for the letter to be written.

Dear Humanity,

"The world is uncertain and trembling.

It is such a scary time to be living in. 
A lot of change is happening: Some at a rapid pace, and some gradually; Some good, and some very, very bad.

Another evil man has risen to power.
People are killing, children are starving, and so many are homeless, dying, sick, or struggling to make it to the next day.
Bees are becoming endangered,
We have killed the Great Barrier Reef,
Innocent black men, women, and children are being attacked and tortured for protesting for their human rights in America,
Women no longer have legal say in some countries about abortion rights,
The LGBTQ community is being oppressed and attacked,
Xenophobia is rife worldwide,
Racism is evident in politics, schools, social groups, and young people,
Misandry is confused for feminism everyday,
Communities are torn apart, caught in warfare waged by religious fundamentalists,
Young women who are the future are denied the right to education,
Students' lives are in danger as they protest for free tertiary education and for the president to step down,
Syrian and Middle Eastern refugees are dying in the ocean as they try and escape their war-torn countries,
Children are being maimed by bombs,
The populations is exponentially increasing,
Natural disasters are causing further destruction and delapidation in Haiti, New Zealand, and Florida,
The Earth has reached its tipping point,
And although the effects of global warming are evident and undeniable, world leaders continue to deny its existence.

It is a lot to deal with, a lot to digest, and a lot to be in denial or depressed about. But, you cannot let it tear your mind away from one simple truth:

There is hope.

I don't know where, but there is hope.

Hope is ever present. It shatters all darkness.

Look inside yourself, and find that light inside your core. Use that light as a flame as you journey through the darkness. Together, we will find that hope, and it will shine so brightly that all evil and adversities will disappear.

Once we open our hearts, and let that light in, we will be whole, and we will all be safe. 

Can you commit to that?"



XO

Prelims Essay: Skinny Love Won't Feed Your Soul

Happy holidays!

 The creative essay you are about to read was written during my Prelim English Paper 3 exam. We were given a choice of essay topics that would inspire our creative writing. I chose to write an essay stemming from one of the options, a quote, which said: 

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food." - George Bernard Shaw. 

I achieved 100% for this essay, and it was later published in our school magazine. I was very proud of myself. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

*TRIGGER WARNING: Eating disorder (anorexia nervosa)*

Skinny Love Won't Feed Your Soul

George Bernard Shaw, a world famous playwright, once said, "There is no sincerer love than the love of food." Certainly, the relationship that one cultivates with food should be sincere and healthy. However, after being guided by my own experience, I have found that this relationship is not as easy as it seems.

When you first enter into a new relationship with your down feathers and quivering legs, your young mind already has some kind of knowledge as to what a relationship entails: You have studied the Life Orientation textbooks, and watched countless, sappy romantic comedies starring the likes of Ryan Gosling and Anne Hathaway to know that any relationship, if built on the foundations of trust, openness, and respect, will grow into a lifelong relationship. This too can be applied to the relationship one builds with food, and will determine how sincere the love in this relationship is. 

This, however, does not come without trials and tribulations. Like in any relationship, food will take you on an emotional journey that could either make you feel invincible, or irrevocably crush your spirit. I experienced the latter. For a long time, I refused to be open to food, and denied it a place in my heart. I convinced myself that food did not deserve me, and that I would be a better person without it. I gave food what they refer to in relationships as the "Silent Treatment." I did not look at food, touch food, nor entertain the idea of being with food. "I will show food that I'm above its power," I thought to myself. "I will teach it that it cannot come into my life, manipulate my body, and expect me to accept this as a form of love. I will live a full life, and grow and future myself independently, without food."

After I had put up arms against food, I became numb. I became a fragment, a fleeting ghost of the girl I had once been. I had no love in my life; not from food or from myself. I knew I needed it back. I craved the way it filled me, the joy it gave me, the love it shared with me. But, I had slipped too far from its warm embrace for it to save me from my own self-deprecation. 

I thought I would become powerful. I thought I would rise above food like an eagle above a stagnant mountain range. Instead, I had become like the ore, trapped beneath the bulge of the mountain. Time was running out for me. The oxygen in my lungs was diminishing; the life from my eyes was dying. And the pain in my heart was excruciating. The last thing that was on my mind before the night's cold fingers clutched and clawed my body was of food. I thought of all the memories we had shared, and all of the adventures we could have had together. I thought of the love we had shared, and how I had ripped that love to pieces out of my own selfish fear.

Suddenly, a voice rang out through the darkness. It was a sweet voice filled with hope and promise. You would expect it to be a fluttering whisper as soft as a butterfly kiss, but it thundered through the wind, and filled every chasm and empty crevice with warmth and light. The voice said to me, "I am here." That was all it said, and all it had to say for me to understand. I realised then that all food had wanted from me was acceptance. It craved my love and affection, just as I had craved it once. From there, I realised that food had only ever been selfless with me, and wanted my mind and body to grow in each step in our relationship, and right when I had needed it the most, I had pushed it away.

Food and I decided to go for Couples Counselling together. Our relationship became healthier over time as we nursed each other back to life. We went to new places together, and introduced each other to new people. Our love grew stronger and fonder as the days rolled by, and I have never been more happy, nor felt more loved and nourished in my life.

Of course there are days when we do not see eye to eye, but then I remember our love, the sincerest love I have ever known, and I cannot help but run into its arms, hungry for more.


XO

Copyright © 2014 Sarah-Kate Says