Thursday 4 October 2018

Empowering Mantras | Anorexia Recovery

Hello my angels. 

It is time in my life for more soul searching, digging deeper than ever before so that I may save myself.

Many of you know that I have relapsed into anorexia again. This is the third time I have had to deal with Ana, the second relapse in less than a year. I promised myself that my twenties would bring clarity and self-love the way my teenage years had not. I do not want to jeopardise myself, my future, and my degree any further than this illness has already tortured me. I know what to do in order to recover, so I am doing it. Right here. Right now.

I have developed a meal plan of what I will eat each day of the week including three meals a day plus snacks in-between at regular intervals. I also have a list of self-reflective reasons why I want to recover and empowering mantras to keep me on the right track towards my future. Never have I yearned for freedom this strongly before. Anorexia has no place in my future, and I don't want her threatening my mental and physical health for another second. It's either me or her, and for the last time I am choosing me. My survival, my success, and my story over hers. Ana cannot continue living through me, choking me of every opportunity for growth. I want her out of my life and away from my home.

I am about to share with you my special and sacred mantras I have used over the years to ward Ana off. They are extremely powerful when believed sincerely and whole-heartedly. To the one suffering while reading this, I encourage you to use them. Never stop believing in the power of your inner self. Ana is not that inner self, but rather the entity that threatens its survival. Do not let her win. Speak to your heart and strengthen it.

Here are my mantras:

I am strong. I am powerful. I am in control, not Ana.

How can I be kind to myself in this moment?

Am I present? Am I listening to myself?

Where I am going is better than where I have been.

Nothing bad can happen to me if I eat.

The body I have is beautiful, but I am more than beautiful.

Food will heal me. I have to keep going. Recovery can hurt, but the pain of relapsing hurts more.

I am a warrior.

I am a survivor.

I deserve to live.

I am so much more than the sum of a few bites, the number on a scale, and the size of my tummy.

The scale cannot measure kindness, compassion, the light in my smile, or the love I have to give.

Ana's logic has no leg to stand on. The only power she has is manipulation. The only way to break free is to stop listening.

If I don't fight for myself, who will?

My body will grow in beauty as I grow in love.

The relationship I harvest with myself and food must be the strongest lifelong relationship I will ever have.

I never judge anyone based on their clothing size, their weight, or the food they eat, so why do I judge myself so harshly?

Imagine how beautiful I would be if I loved every inch of myself.


XO

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